


Slurpees and Suntans

by orphan_account



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: 80s slang is ridiculous lmao, Alternate Universe - Human, Awkward Crush, Boys Being Boys, Boys Kissing, First Kiss, M/M, One-Shot, Slang, The 80s AU, the obligatory "lets practice kissing bro" fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 13:16:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7269790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Rude,” he bit back, knocking his shoulder against Jason’s, “You’re a terrible friend. I think you owe me an apology.” </p><p>“What, and a hug and kiss too?” </p><p>“A hug and a kiss would be nice,” Percy turned over so he was facing Jason and sat up, crossing his legs Indian style and wriggling his eyebrows, “Pucker up, buttercup.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slurpees and Suntans

**Author's Note:**

> and the award for the most cliche fanfic of the year.........  
> jesus christ this is so predictable i love it  
> [check out my tumblr if you're looking for a good time](http://luciferslittlekitten.tumblr.com/)

“I can’t believe your mom let you get those.”

Percy Jackson was not a poor kid. He had a stepfather with a good job and a mother who strove to be a novelist, and though he was not wealthy, he was nowhere near poor. Middle-class would probably be the accurate term. The kid was living in a home as close to suburbia as you could get in Pasadena.

Jason Grace, however, was a poor kid, and the sight of his best friend showing off his brand new Nike Air Jordans made him more jealous of Percy than he’d ever been.

It was the summer of 1986 and for two fourteen-year-old boys, sex drive was up and common sense was down. The pair of them, a native New Yorker and a Californian in that order, had been friends since the fifth grade when they’d both gotten made fun of for being some of the only white kids in school. For Percy, that’d been a damn sure change from what he was used to up, being a Yankee and all.

Percy grinned. “I know.”

“What’s the occasion?” Jason asked, leaning back against the headboard of Percy’s bed. His bed didn’t even have a headboard. It was a glorified mattress on the floor, really, and he had to share a room with Thalia. It wasn’t that bad, though, because she let him smoke her cigarettes and she wasn’t very good at hiding her porno mags.

“Paul said it was just ‘cause,” he shrugged, shoving things off his desk before carefully sliding the shoe box onto it, “What do you think of them?”

“I think they’re gonna make you look like an even bigger tool.”

“Oh, cram it, Clydesdale,” Percy shot back grabbing one of the pillows off his bed to throw it at Jason. The blond laughed. Percy called him that constantly. He seemed to think Jason was some sort of Cali golden boy, blue-eyed and blond-haired and keen on sports and family cook-outs. Jason couldn’t be farther from that ideal. He could on wish his family had enough money for his mom to put him into sports, that his dad had stuck around, and the only cook-outs he’d ever been to were at the Jackson’s.

Percy said that the suburbia shit wasn’t cool, and that included being a good Christian, football-playing, straight-A pussy. Percy used to swim, but he said that sports were for the jock faggots and that the gals went for the cool nonconforming dudes. Jason didn’t know about all that, but he usually just listened to Percy anyways.

“I’m just yanking your chain. They’re cool.”

“Obviously, they’re ace as hell, man,” Percy flopped onto his bed. Jason kicked his shoulder and Percy pushed his foot away.

“Wanna skate?”

“Too hot.”

And it was, indeed, already topping out at nearly 96 degrees though it was only June. Jason didn’t want to think about how this was shaping up and how hot it would be in August if the sun kept up like this. Pasadena weather was never this bad so early in the year. Usually, they’d be at the skatepark or at the arcade or gorging themselves on candy from cheap gas stations, but Jason didn’t want to leave the air conditioning of Percy’s room. His had been broken since the 6th and his mom couldn’t afford to fix it.

“Come on,” Percy teased, “Can’t you take a little heat?”

Jason snorted. “You just wanna show off your kicks to the guys at the park.”

“And so what if I do?”

“You’re gonna get mugged,” Jason told him, crossing his legs at the ankle and laying his feet on Percy’s shoulder to annoy him.

As much as Thalia slugged him and said that he was a real, natural-born leader, he didn’t think he was. It was always Percy towing him around and getting him into messes and helping him clean them up (like the failed panty raid on at Leo’s seventh-grade sleepover. Boy, was that a whole ‘nother tier of hell that had been unleashed).

He pushed them off with a little scoff. “Who’s gonna mug me?”

“Literally anyone could rob your hoser ass.”

“Says you,” Percy said, annoyance in his voice, and he shoved Jason’s feet again, “look, I say that we hit up the 7-Eleven and get ourselves some Slurpees.”

“Dude. You have ice cream here.”

“They’re dark chocolate bars,” Percy whined, “I hate dark chocolate.”

“Racist.”

Percy sat up and fixed his tousled hair by carding a hand through it and shaking his head, which only aided in tousling it even more, but that was his preferred style. He launched yet another pillow at Jason, who caught it and swung it back at his bro.

Percy yelped and ducked but didn’t avoid collision and ended up getting smacked. He threw the pillow back at the blond and used the moment he had to his advantage and grabbed the blue one behind him, using it as a shield. As soon as Jason was unfazed by the prior attack, he sprung at him and pushed him to the bed while he held the pillow on his chest and lower face with his knees positioned on either side of his friend in a rather compromising position.

Jason lifted his chin with a exhale of air so that he could talk without being muffled by the pillow. “You trying to kill me?”

“Maybe,” Percy grinned, “Why? Having a good ol’ time underneath me, Grace?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Get off of me.”

Percy complied, sitting back on his knees and throwing the pillow off the bed before flopping down next to Jason. “You love me,” he poked Jason’s shoulder, “You know I’m a studmuffin.”

Jason couldn’t stand when Percy called himself some bullshit term like that. Arrogant asshole he was, he had plenty of them. More than plenty. He had enough to fill an arsenal and then some. “You’re a damn flamer, that’s what you are.”

“Rude,” he bit back, knocking his shoulder against Jason’s, “You’re a terrible friend. I think you owe me an apology.”

“What, and a hug and kiss too?”

“A hug and a kiss would be nice,” Percy turned over so he was facing Jason and sat up, crossing his legs Indian style and wriggling his eyebrows, “Pucker up, buttercup.”

“Jesus, now I know why they kicked you off the swim team,” Jason said, sitting up and going back to his original position against the headboard.

“Hey, shut up!” Percy punched Jason in the shoulder and rattled the entire bedframe. Jason’s laughter rattled with it.

“Aww, okay, I’m sorry, honeycake. Are you ready for your first kiss?”

“You and I both know that my first kiss was with Annabeth Chase behind the bleachers at her softball game in the sixth grade.”

“I _know_ , dumbass, I was at that softball game,” Jason responded with a mocking slowness to his tone. Annabeth’s team had struck out bad. Really bad, might he say, and they’d lost by a whopping 10-to-15 points. He couldn’t really remember because it’d been a couple years ago, but he’d been totally jealous when Percy kissed the blonde girl. Then he’d spilled his cola all over her softball uniform and she yelled at him.

He hadn’t even had his first kiss yet, but he wasn’t about to tell Percy that. His best friend had been under the impression that he totally made out with Piper McLean in Calypso Nightshade’s closet in the seventh grade because it was her 13th birthday party and her parents had gone out so she’d invited a bunch of boys over. He and Piper had been too embarrassed to do anything, so they played rock, paper, scissors in her closet for their entire seven minutes of heaven.

She won over half of the rounds, but he secretly thought she was cheating because it _was_ pretty dark in that closet.

So, yeah, he was pretty jealous that Percy had kissed a girl. A girl that Luke Castellan, who had been one of the popular eighth grader kids, dubbed “one of the hottest sixth graders”.

He and Percy didn’t get dubbed anything by Luke Castellan. Percy was bitter about that the whole year.

Percy stuck his tongue out at Jason childishly. “Mine happened before yours.”

“Only by a year!”

“A whole _year_ , Grace. But whatever. Doesn’t matter because I promise you when we become freshmen this year? We’re gonna have all the chicks.”

Jason rolled his eyes. They were becoming strained from the frequency of the motion. “I don’t care just about having a girlfriend, dude.”

“ _Jason_ ,” Percy stressed, “getting a girlfriend is the most important part of high school. I mean, come on, we have to have the full experience.”

“Full experience, eh?” he raised an eyebrow, “Well, you might’ve had your first kiss first, but maybe I’ll have my first time before you.”

“Whatever. I’m gonna be slamming some chick before you can even get to second base.”

Jason shoved him lightly. “Whatever. Maybe we’ll have it at, like, the same time.”

“Are you implying we’ll be losing it to each other?”

Jason felt himself blush bright. Jesus, how Percy could twist his words. “That’s not what I meant at all!”

“I’m honored, Jacey, I’ll make sure that your first time is real sweet and special.”

“Percy!” he hissed, “shut up!”

“You’re blushing,” he stated obviously, a teasing tone in his voice.

“I know I am!” he replied, frustrated and embarrassed, “Shut up, I said!”

“I’m just joking, Jason,” Percy said, “You don’t have to get defensive. I know what you meant. Obviously, we aren’t going to... “ he trailed off, “y’know.”

“Yep,” Jason clipped.

There was an awkward silence. The swoosh of Percy’s ceiling fan was the only noise in the room. Jason messed with the stitching of a pillow.

“But, like,” Percy started, then paused as if to reconsider his sentence, then continued, “What if we did?”

Jason furrowed his brow. “Had sex?”

“I mean,” Percy made an ‘eh’ sound, “Not necessarily have sex but, like,” he stopped himself again for a moment, “I don’t know. Are you into me?”

“Like…” Jason awkwardly glanced at Percy for a second, “Like that? No. At least, I don’t think so. Are you into me like that?”

“No. I mean, not really. I don’t think.”

“But we’re not gay.”

“No, we’re not.”

“At least I don’t think we are.”

“Shit, are we gay?”

“I don’t know!” Jason exclaimed, exasperated, “How the hell am I supposed to know if I’m gay? I’ve never liked a guy, but I guess I could like a guy…”

“Okay,” Percy breathed, “okay. So, hypothetically, if I asked you to kiss me right now, would you?”

“No,” Jason shook his head, “No. You’re my best friend. You’d be joking. Right?”

“I mean, usually, yeah, but why don’t we..”

“Kiss?”

“Just to see if..” Percy clicked his tongue as if looking for a word, “to see if there’s something.”

“You think it works like that?”

“We won’t know unless we try,” Percy shrugged, “think of it as practice for when we’re with girls if you want.”

“We’re gonna practice kissing?”

“Why not? It’s not gay. Just helping each other out, okay?”

Jason gave Percy a skeptical look, and Percy grinned at him nervously.

“Fine,” Jason said, “come here.”

There was an awkward pause where neither of them moved, but with a shaky intake of breath, Percy readjusted himself so he was much closer to Jason. The two of them stared at each other, very slowly moving. It was like they were drawing together an inch a mile. Jason gathered up all his confidence even though his heart was pounding against his rib cage and surged forward, and when they kissed Percy nearly flipped on him and pulled back. One of Percy’s hands came to rest on Jason’s knee, but the blond didn’t know what to do with his.

The kiss was weird, and Jason didn’t want to think about how this was his first kiss. He tried to keep it as far away from his mind as possible. It was awkward and their teeth clanked together and Percy tried to use his tongue and that made it even _more_ awkward, but when all was said and all was done, Jason found that he liked it.

They pulled away and Percy wiped his lips on the back of his hand and they shared a look which did nothing to stop the hammering of Jason’s heart. Percy’s lips were chapped and Jason bit at his too much and it probably wouldn’t feel anything like making out with Piper McLean in Calypso Nightshade’s closet but he liked it. He’d liked it a lot.

“So,” Jason crossed his arms over his chest, “Uh, did you like it?”

Percy lifted a shoulder. “Could’ve been worse.”

He bit the inside of his cheek and settled back against the headboard. Percy scooted away a little. He didn’t know if he should tell Percy he liked it or not. A kiss was a kiss, right? Didn’t mean he was a homosexual or anything. And, yes, his sister was gay. And, yes, he wasn’t homophobic, but just because he didn’t care didn’t mean that he wanted to be gay. He didn’t know if it was weird his friend out if he confessed, though. He wondered if he should’ve wasted his first kiss on Piper McLean that night months ago so he wouldn’t be stuck with the realization that he’d had it with his best friend and the even more crushing realization that he didn’t mind that so much.

He didn’t know if he should fess up and risk embarrassing himself or keep his flap shut and let this blow over.

Percy decided for him. “I wasn’t all too into it, though. It was just weird, man.”

Jason coughed. “Yeah.”

“You’re a terrible kisser, by the way.”

Jason smiled bitterly. “Bite me.”

“Only if you bite back, baby.”

Percy got socked in the shoulder for that.

**Author's Note:**

> i dont even ship jercy lmao  
> anyways have this because i like the 80s and gay shit


End file.
